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.::Babylon 5 - Star Stuff::.
...stunning in grey aswell...
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Personal log of Supreme Governor G'Rika, 2279

" Now, when I write these lines, war cruiser "G'Kar" from Golden Order has jumped out of hyperspace to deliver us to space station Babylon 5. Here my father worked many years, here he has changed and started to write his Holy Book. I dreamed to visit  this station for a long time, to see everything that he described by own eyes.
I am very  excited because of our forthcoming mission, I know, that many members of our government would not approve that I am going to do, but... I want to do it... First of all for the sake of my father.
Father. Almost year has passed from the date of his death. Na'Toth speaks, that I  too hurry, that our wounds are still too fresh. But I should make it, in memory of the father. I should finish that he began, should put an end to old enmity between our races... Because... Because someone should break off this circle of hatred.
Who else, except for me? I am, G'Rika, Supreme governor of the Narn Regime, daughter of G'Kar... Who is capable to continue his work? Who if not me?
I have enough authority to change the current situation. And I am  not   going to be idle.
I heard,  Emperor Vir Cotto is not like  usual Centauri which we know.
Tomorrow many people will gather to honour memory of G'Kar and Londo Mollari at Babylon 5.
Emperor Cotto will arrive on В5 together with his  wife, Empress Senna.
 I cannot miss such opportunity. Perhaps, this time we shall hear each other...
I know, there are many ill-wishers in Kha'ri and Centarum, who would not like this armistice.
Therefore I spoke nobody about my intention. Only my old friend and counsellor Na'Toth knows about it.
I would like to hope... "

The young Narn woman stopped her record, having seen her Counsellor at a threshold.
It was the tall woman dressed in simple beige gown, the sign on mourning.
" The shuttle waits for you, Supreme Governor, " - she told ceremoniously with her fist pressed to her chest.
The young woman nods.
" I shall be ready in some minutes. "
Supreme Governor G'Rika risen and hold her personal log, wrapping it in a cloth.
Older Narn woman smiles, having specified on it.
" You have not changed at all, G'Rika. You keep write your memoirs. Like your father. "
G'Rika nods and put the writing-book in the bag.
" Bad heredity, I think. "
Young woman smiles.
" I cannot believe, that I shall see his station... I shall visit his quarters... I meet people which many years were his friends... I was not so excited for a long time... "
Cousellor steps in cabin.
" I understand you, G'Rika. "
" I would like to have your composure, Na'Toth. To not stammer because of excitement at the presence of all these legendary people... Heroes of war and governors. "
Counsellor Na'Toth grins and asks quietly:
" So you have not decided not about your mad invention? "
" You do not like it, " - G'Rika said gloomy.
" Yes, I do not like it. I think, time for such negotiations has not come yet. "
" And I think, that now we have the most suitable time! - young woman retorts, - Just you are too conservative! But I am deprived prejudices. "
Na'Toth frowns.
" You do not know them, G'Rika. They are hypocritical liars! It is impossible to agree with them. "
" People could change. I heard much good about their emperor. Not all Centauri are liars and rascals."
" These people have killed your father. "
Na'Toth said hoarsely.
G'Rika steps to her closer.
" You are wrong here and you know it. Centauri are not guilty in G'Kar's death. My father and Emperor Mollari were killed by Drakhs. "
" Centauri Prime has killed your father! If G'Kar has not gone there, he would be alive now. "
Na'Toth felt an old pain in her breast when she recollected it. Her ruby eyes have sparkled with hatred.
"Perhaps. But most likely all of us would be dead now. "
G'Rika put her hand on a shoulder of her Counsellor and old friend.
" If you do not believe in success of my negotiations why have you agreed to help me, Na'Toth? "
There are pain flown in Na'Toth's eyes... and any strange expression... tenderness? Or love?
" I help you only because I promised your father that I shall care and protect you, G'Rika. Now, when you are ready to put your head in the bottle, I feel, my help will be especially necessary for you. "
" Thank you! "
G'Rika smiles, touched with her words.
But her proud Counsellor blinks and turns away.
" We should hasten. The shuttle waits for you. I shall join you later. "

Counsellor Na'Toth come in her cabin, hoping, that her son had time to pack necessary things.
" G'Lon, are you ready? Shuttle waits. "
The lanky Narn teenager approaches to her and said with a sigh.
"Mum, spacecatkennedy does not want to go in her cage. She speaks, that it offends her."
Na'Toth shrugs shoulders.
" Then she will stay at the ship. I have no time for arrangements. "
The big grey Cheshire cat sniffs discontentedly and goes in a cage.
" Holy Martyrs! Even after twenty years they have not changed these foolish laws concerning cats! " - she grumbles in Narnish.
" I start to regret, that I have taken you both with myself, " - Na'Toth mutters gloomy.
" I am bodyguard, Na'Toth, unless is possible to lock bodyguard in the close cage?! " - cat was indignant.
Narn boy winks at her.
" I'll not close door of your cage. I hope, it will calm you, Kennedy? "
Na'Toth coughs impatiently.
" Are you ready? Son, I hope, do you remember how you should to behave at station? Do you remember your promise? "
Boy nods, having frowned.
" I'll be silent and behave quietly, and to open my mouth only when you will ask me about it. "
Na'Toth slaps him on the shoulder and grins.
" Good boy! "

They have left in a corridor.
" Mum, you has told, general susie_ivanova will be there? "
Na'Toth nods.
" Yes, as far as I know. "
" And Mister Garibaldi? "
" Yes. "
" And Rangers... There will be Rangers? "
Na'Toth sighs.
" Yes, I think, they will be there, too. "
Narn boy smiles.
" And... Holy G'Kar's quarters, can I see it again? "
" Yes, indeed. "
G'Lon jumps up and shouts joyfully.
" Kennedy, do you heard it? Kennedy?! "
".. Mum..."
" What else, son? "
Na'Toth groans, stopping.
" She has made it again. Look! "
Narn Counsellor rolled her eyes.
G'Lon glanced in the cage, and there was only a wide smile instead of a big grey cat.
" And we even did not arrive to Babylon 5, " - Na'Toth has thought gloomy...
14th-Sep-2005 01:27 pm - Unexpected Lesson
power, control, command
I don’t believe in unexpected. If someone isn’t prepared to fight for survival in this cruel, unrelenting world, they deserve to be taken advantage of and destroyed. It is just the law of natural designation.....nothing personal.

Oh, I’ll admit that at one time I was not prepared for the unexpected. I had to learn some valuable lessons from my father. He was cruel and terrible, but he taught me so much. I can still remember the first of his many unexpected lessons that forged me into the great political leader that I eventually became.

Refa's Unexpected LessonCollapse )
You wouldn't believe the day I had. I found a missing level in Grey sector. Quick breakdown: the grey sector was supposed to have 30 sectors, but due to what was believed to be a design flaw, there were only 29. I wasn't buying it, so I stopped the elevator during the time of the longest pause between levels, and sure enough, I discovered an entirely new level; what should have been Grey 17. My first lesson was that I didn't know the station as well as I thought I did. This was a serious shock to me, since I thought I knew the entire station like the back of my hand. Ok, so there were a bunch of religious nuts on the level, which was endlessly trying on my patience, namely due to their belief that perfection could only be attained by the universe ending all life. And they were crazy enough to put their scheme into action: they had transported a live zarg somehow onto the level. I swear I'm not kidding. All in the name of gaining perfection. The second lesson I learned that day: perfection is vastly overrated. So by some quick thinking, and punching, I was able to get the cult leader to lead me to the way of escape, and sure enough, we run into the zarg. Of course, I don't have my ppg; just a pocketful of .38's, antiques that belonged to my grandma. I was able to use a steam pipe to propel the bullets, saving my ass by blasting the zarg to kingdom come. The cult leader was cowering in fear all the while. I guess he wasn't as "perfect" as he thought. Third and most important unexpected lesson I learned that day: don't forget the past. Otherwise, a vicious alien with a hunger for living flesh will tear you apart. Oh, and stay out of that area of grey sector. That's another good lesson.
Am I going too fast for you?
10th-Sep-2005 12:46 am - Topic # the second
bisexual russian telepathic jew // i don
An unexpected Lesson.

Whether it be from a teacher or someone you never expected, or wanted, to learn anything from, this weeks topic is 'an unexpected lesson'.

I will post the next topic in one week.
5th-Sep-2005 07:18 am - Love and Loss
depressed // twisted_badger
I do not believe any love I have had in my life has been great, not now...
At the time? Yes.
In all truth? Probably as far as any... maybe... but not now.
Not looking back.
I think perhaps, I have lost the belief in love that would explain so much, but at the time, my first great love was perhaps duty.
Or that is the safe answer, the answer that does not demand I look deeper into myself than I feel at all comfortable with these days.
Something to loose myself in was Earth Force.
An escape and a haven.
And I loved duty as it was then.

What I have lost however seems far clearer in my mind these days. As my missteps and the destruction of so much plays an endless loop to my minds eye.
The first in the series however, I think to be clear.
My mother.
My mother... died, when I was very young, for reasons that impress themselves upon my life to this day.
She committed suicide... it was not her fault, she was forced into it, and it was a way out I seem to come closer to understanding as I grow...

General Susan Ivanova
3rd-Sep-2005 07:12 pm - Great ends and beginings
The Silence
My first love has always been the night sky. I remember gazing at it as a child with wonder and I always dreamed of flying among the stars. Now that I find myself continually in the presence of its great expanse I still find it to be awe inspiring.

My first lose... Silista, my wife. Sure she was a moody, cranky and demanding woman but after a time I grew very fond of her. When we had our daughter, Cellena we bonded very closely. It was short lived. My father had her murdered shortly after our daughter's birth. I guess he didn't want me to have anyone close to me. I barely knew her in truth and some days I yearn for even those brief calls when she would call histerically angey and yell for hours it seems. I never thought I would miss her, wished for her to go away after we were first married and now, I wish for nothing more then to see her again.
3rd-Sep-2005 06:38 pm - Love and loss
Adira Kiss
The first thing I would ask is what is meant by love? If it is to be the love of family it would ofcourse be my mother, but if you mean love as in a relationship then it would be completely differant. It could also be as others have said a personal love for me singing then would hold the place of my first great love.

My first great loss on the other hand is easy... my freedom. I was thirteen when Lord Tyree sold me into slavery. A terrified young girl who had lost everything in one clean swipe.. my family, my freedom and in essence much of my life.
ooc-note: I have decided to place this post here as the answer to weekly question because its really was a first loss in a life of my Narn muse. Also I should notice, that my Na'Toth is post-fifth season Na'Toth mostly, however, if someone is interested in rping on other seasons, I'll not object. *g*

Na'Toth knew, that this place does not exist any more. Or has transformed beyond recognition, singed by fire of recent war.
She could not visit her patrimonial estate physically, but sometimes she walked on it in her dreams.
It is so strange... It was so a long time ago... But it was necessary to her to close eyes and to think of an ancient estate as it appeared before her mind...
Memoirs from the childhoodCollapse )
2nd-Sep-2005 02:10 am - First Greatest Love and Loss
reflection, thinking, scheming
My greatest love.....oh, that is too easy. POWER.....power is so liberating, delightful, intoxicating......it is like a bottle of fine brivari! I had my first taste of power when I became the de facto head of House Refa. After that event, I gave the commands and spun the wheels that would bring down that old man's regime and usher in the new order.....my order! No, I must have more power and soon I will eliminate that fool Cartagia achieve my ultimate goal, absolute power.

My greatest loss.....I have suffered only one great loss and it was of my good friend.....Beyon Turhan. We had been friends since the beginning of our Imperial Academy days. I was the intelligent, scrawny son of a high house; he was strong, dashing son of the Emperor. We were inseparable friends and our two houses were strong allies.

Together we could have conquered the entire galaxy, but he decided to follow the path of his weak father. If only he had understood.....if only he had just listened to me instead of supporting that pathetic old man, things would have been different. I wouldn't have been forced to commit the deeds that were required to seize control of the Centauri Republic.

However we have a saying here in the Centaurum, "ambition has no sweathearts" and I would not allow my best friend to stand in the way of my destiny. While part of me will always agree that what happened was necessary and proper, on the dark nights as I lie awake in bed a small part of me says maybe the loss of my friend was too high a price for immortality.
2nd-Sep-2005 12:23 am - FIRST GREAT LOSS
My first great loss. Wow, that's quite a question. Can I say my hair? No? All right.
My first great loss was not bringing someone back to life. I made her lose her hope. She died inside, and I didn't stick around to bring her back. This was when I was a security officer on Europa. Everyone was so damn corrupt, so upholding the law put me on a lot of radars. They couldn't manage to kill me, so they killed my friend instead, and made it look like negligence on my part. I got blackballed, and they were able to get back to spreading corruption throughout. Instead of helping his daughter, who needed me, needed her Uncle Mike, I crawled back into the bottle and didn't come out for a damn long time. And by the time I did, it was too late. She had found her own way of coming back to life.

And as for my first great love, I turned my back on her for what I had then assumed to be my true great love: Babylon 5.
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